October 2011
1 post
“If you were a member of Jesse James’s band and people asked you what you...”
– Roy Blount, Jr. (via thisisnottechwriting)
September 2011
1 post
August 2011
2 posts
In Which Our Heroes Rent a Cottage on Bobs Lake...
Day the Third: In Which Everyone Cries Wolf
[Nightime. Julia is brushing her teeth in the bathroom]
<SOUND OF DYING ANIMAL SCREAMS OH MY GOD>
Julia: <mouth full of toothpaste> Mwah!
<Bryan rushes in, excited>
Bryan: Julia! There’s a wolf!
Julia: <mouth full of toothpaste> Mla? Whm fem gwa?!!
Bryan: I’m getting my night knife! Ah! <runs out>
...
In Which Our Heroes Rent a Cottage on Bobs Lake...
Introduction
Hello, reader. The following is meant to be…a homage to our week at the cottage. Obviously, I’m not going to write about everything that happened. That would be gruesomely boring. And I had to guestimate some of the conversations, because, well…drinking.
Before we begin, there’s one thing that needs explaining:
The Star Trek: The Next Generation Cottage...
June 2011
1 post
In Which Julia and Bryan Talk About Getting...
(Our heroes are walking down St. Catherine Street, heading West)
Bryan:…so, is there a “type” of girl who checks me out?
Julia: What? Is all girls a “type”? It’s faster to say “all girls.”
Bryan: No, but really-when girls check me out, is there a “type?”
Julia: Like, you want to know if mousey and/or ugly girls check you out? I can’t possibly know that.
Bryan: Really? Why?
...
May 2011
1 post
January 2011
4 posts
December 2010
3 posts
My Mom Does the Darndest Things: Her Desktop
Alright. So this is the mess that is my mother’s computer. Take a close look. Things you will notice:
-Netscape 7.2 (no longer exists)
-Every. Other. Browser. Is present.
-Flash (she cannot use this)
-Bitcomet (she cannot use this)
-iTunes (does not own iPod)
Things you can’t see in this picture:
-There were TWO virus scanners running. This made the computer think it had...
WatchJulia claims she’s going to read ‘War and Peace’ by the time school resumes on January 10, 2011. As one of those classic works that no one ever actually finishes, much like my own failed attempts with ‘Don Quixote,’ our party line was “Sure you are.”
Challenge accepted.
- B
Public Service Announcement
Hello readers,
Julia here. There’s something really serious I need to talk about. More serious than HPV. More serious than Harper’s new prisons. More serious even than all the child soldiers in the world playing all the violins in the world.
That’s right. Today, I want to talk about Chicken Toast.
Yup. So let’s go over this:
fully cooked rectangular chicken cutlets
...
November 2010
1 post
October 2010
4 posts
September 2010
7 posts
Official September Sonia Zodiac →
The short version is, in order to practice my HTML-ing, I invent projects.
-Julia out
August 2010
16 posts
Ruminations on Summer of You
Jerry: It’s Lanette! I need an assistant or intern or something.
George: [Laughs] Relationship intern…hey, what if two of us teamed up?
Jerry: Not. George: No, no… Jerry: No, because that’s…
George: No, listen; we are always sitting here, I am always helping you with your girl problems and you are helping me with my girl problems. Where do we end up?
...
The Relationship Intern
Back to dating:
Often perceived to be solely the concern of the two immediate parties; or three, or whatever. It’s 2010; welcome to the present.
Obviously, everyone asks for advice, opinions, tips, moves, words, restaurants, interpretations concerning their prospective mate, lay, or beard. There are, of course, professionals trained to aid you on your mission (relationship...
July 2010
15 posts
Adventures in Humility
Let’s get this shame party started
So, I’m entering this tech writing program at my local community college of choice.
I do love going to school, as its proven to be the only thing I’m good at. However, I have heretofore concentrated on programs that were more “high concept” than innately practical. I’m one erudite...
Physics Theories as Girls- This One's for Dutch
tristn:
amahr, physicsphysics, badhumor:
Newtonian gravity is your high-school girlfriend. As your first encounter with physics, she’s amazing. You will never forget Newtonian gravity, even if you’re not in touch very much anymore.
Electrodynamics is your college girlfriend. Pretty complex, you probably won’t date long enough to really understand her.
Special relativity is the girl you...
