Hello readers,
Julia here. There’s something really serious I need to talk about. More serious than HPV. More serious than Harper’s new prisons. More serious even than all the child soldiers in the world playing all the violins in the world.
That’s right. Today, I want to talk about Chicken Toast.
Yup. So let’s go over this:
- fully cooked rectangular chicken cutlets
- that you cook in your toaster
- slogan: “Snacks or just cuz”, “chicken snacks from your TOASTER”
We all know that somewhere, in America, a cautionary whale was waddling around her local grocery, stopped, threw her hands up in the air and proclaimed “FINALLY! Chicken I just heat up in the toaster! Thanks, Janes!”
Fortunately, when my brother and I are in a grocery store together, in Canada, by our powers combined, we become that fat girl. So here’s what I’ve learned
- chicken toasts look like Toaster Strudel, but smell and taste like chicken
- my toaster now smells like chicken
- chicken toasts are excellent hangover food, because they combine ghetto with the protein of real chicken
- I laugh EVERY TIME I type “chicken toast”
And now, I know what you’re thinking, reader. You’re thinking, “WOW! With technology like this, Janes could SAVE THE WORLD!”
And indeed they did:
Hooray! Janes has declared an official Eco-Success. Don’t worry anymore about all the trees, guys. Because Janes saved them all. With chicken.
-Julia out
Arise, chicken!
