(Our heroes are walking down St. Catherine Street, heading West)

Bryan:…so, is there a “type” of girl who checks me out?

Julia: What? Is all girls a “type”? It’s faster to say “all girls.”

Bryan: No, but really-when girls check me out, is there a “type?”

Julia: Like, you want to know if mousey and/or ugly girls check you out? I can’t possibly know that.

Bryan: Really? Why?

Julia: Because I can’t see mousey girls. It’s like they are wearing camo. Or “Where’s Waldo” glasses.

Bryan: What about fat chicks? Can you see fat chicks?

Julia: Oof, yeah, well I more sense fat chicks, like how you can hear the bus coming.

Bryan: ….

Julia: But anyway, I’m only going to really notice if a girl is checking you out in one of three scenarios:

     1. I was checking that girl out and noticed she was checking you out.

     2. A girl I am trying to attain a service from (coffee, clothing, groceries) is                   not rendering said service because they are looking at you.

   3. Random chance.

So, the schematic is skewed.

Bryan: Can more than one scenario happen at once?

Julia: …I suppose that I could be checking out a girl who is also rendering me a service. Oh! I forgot about “double-takes!”

    4. Which occurs when a girl double-takes so fast I notice the disturbance in the air.

Bryan: I love this conversation.

Julia: Eh, it’s just truth-facts.

Bryan: I wish I could somehow harness this power.

Julia: Like, into green energy? Instead of windmills cluttering up the skyline there would just be 10-foot billboards of your face? Or just a single leg, bare, arching over all street-lights? Get ladies to rev their engines?

Bryan: This is getting weird.

Julia: Hey, don’t lead me to rivers if you don’t want me to fish.

Bryan: …for absurd imagery? I don’t think that’s a licensed trade…Julia?

Julia: …..

Bryan: Hey! I KNOW what you’re doing!

Julia: ?

Bryan: You were checking me out in your mind!

Julia: …Oh, lock it up, princess.